Reviews
Barbie: Dolphin Magic (2017)
On December 2, 2023 by CrescentBarbie really isn’t beating the sapphic allegations in this movie. And you know what? Good for her. We love a bisexual queen.
Reviews
Barbie: Video Game Hero (2017)
On November 30, 2023 by CrescentThis movie calls itself Video Game Hero. I call it migraine bait. I think my title is much more accurate. At least it’s a warning.
Reviews
Barbie and Her Sisters in A Puppy Chase (2016)
On November 29, 2023 by CrescentIf you’re thinking about watching this movie, this is your sign not to. Please. Spend your seventy-five minutes doing literally anything else.
Reviews
Barbie: Star Light Adventure (2016)
On November 28, 2023 by CrescentI never knew I needed a science fiction Barbie movie until now. I absolutely need this, and every other person alive does too.
Reviews
Barbie: Spy Squad (2016)
On November 21, 2023 by CrescentThis movie was so excruciatingly boring that I fell asleep the first time I watched it. I wish that was an exaggeration.
Reviews
Barbie and Her Sisters in the Great Puppy Adventure (2015)
On November 20, 2023 by CrescentFor a movie named after the dogs, I can’t help but think it might be better off without them. Did they really do that much?
Reviews
Barbie in Princess Power (2015)
On November 18, 2023 by CrescentIn an attempt to make a Spiderman for little girls, they just made a misogynistic Spiderman. Can’t Spiderman just be gender neutral?
Reviews
Barbie in Rock ‘N Royals (2015)
On November 18, 2023 by CrescentThis movie feels like the war of the preps versus emos… Or Royalty versus Pop. That works too.
Reviews
Barbie and the Secret Door (2014)
On November 15, 2023 by CrescentMaking four songs and then playing them over and over doesn’t make the movie a musical. It just makes you lazy.
Reviews
Barbie and Her Sisters in A Pony Tale (2013)
On November 14, 2023 by CrescentYou know, I think it would be fairly easy to just say the horse’s pink streak was hair dye. Isn’t that a simple lie to tell?